Win-Win Relating

You think you know what “win-win” means? Think again. In this special guest episode, Pilar talks with two Lafayette Morehouse teachers (one of whom is the daughter of the man who originally coined the term) about the true meaning of the phrase, and the extraordinary relational standard it was meant to convey. If you want to aim higher in your relationships and achieve more rewarding results in your life, this version of win-win is the one to shoot for.

This week on The Living Experiment, we bring you the second in a series of four special guest episodes featuring teachers from Lafayette Morehouse. For more background on this series, check out the introduction to the first Lafayette Morehouse episode, “Resistance to Pleasure”.

In this episode, Pilar talks to Morehouse teachers Sugar Goens-Baranco and Boris Sheckeloff about the concept of Win-Win Relating.

The now popular term “win-win,” as Sugar explains, was actually coined by her father — Morehouse founder Victor Baranco — back in the 1960s. And as you’ll learn, he used it to describe a dynamic rather different from the one most of us now associate with the term.

Within the Morehouse philosophy, win-win relating is a foundational concept — one that provides the basis for more successful relationships, and a happier, more rewarding life experience. And as Sugar and Boris describe it, this more nuanced definition of win-win might challenge some of your assumptions about what true winning entails.

“Win-Win Relating” Episode Highlights

  • The Morehouse definition of “win-win,” where everyone gets everything that they want (and then some) — versus the “mutual compromise” and “settle for less” standard we’ve come to know
  • Why a “win-lose” mindset is completely incompatible with healthy personal relationships
  • The importance of taking into account the viewpoints of everyone who has a stake in your decisions, and why it makes sense to start with the people who will be most resistant
  • The fear of loss as the root cause of resistance
  • Morehouse’s “one no vote” philosophy of win-win group decision making
  • Start with a belief that everyone is perfect the way that they are, that everyone’s opinion is valid, and that a win-win decision is possible

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Please note that while neither this episode nor its show notes includes any graphic or explicit sexual content, it does reference sensual experiences, and the links within this section may take you to sites through which you may discover more explicit content. Please explore at your own discretion.