This week we’re talking about the concept of the New Year — from meaningless consumer hype to contemplative pursuits that really can make a difference.
We explore the potential pros and cons of leveraging the New Year as an opportunity for self-improvement, and we share the approaches we like best for pursuing change in our own lives.
From expert theories of change to the awkward realities of working on a goal that eludes you, we take a thoughtful look at New Year’s conventions, and we offer some experiments to help you establish a better, more self-compassionate plan for your year ahead.
“New Year” Episode Highlights
- The New Year holiday as the caboose on the Thanksgiving-to-Christmas marketing train (2:10)
- Arguments against January 1 as a hard date for making big changes (4:00)
- Pilar’s Goal Flower model for setting and achieving goals (7:10)
- Accomplishing less instead of more (10:30)
- Why uncovering the belief systems that are holding you back may be more effective than simply addressing surface problems like excess weight, disorganization, and debt (12:15)
- Dallas’s approach to goal setting (and the holidays) (13:30)
- Making resolutions when you’re ready and in your own way, instead of when and how the calendar or culture says you should (16:40)
- The shared energy of forming new habits with everyone else in January (or any other time), and the value of using camaraderie to launch into autonomy (20:15)
- Creating sustainable change and escaping commercially-driven cycles (23:15)
- The Prochaska Transtheoretical Model of change (25:15)
- Dallas’s insights on self-sabotage, and Pilar’s thoughts on our inherent “immunity to change” (28:30)
- Making small transformations on the road to accomplishing larger goals and avoiding self-sabotage (34:10)
- The difference between building sustainable change and making cyclical changes to break up an unsustainable lifestyle (38:15)
- The right and wrong motivations for modifying behaviors – love vs. fear (40:05)
- The power of conscious language (42:30)
- How to embrace the opportunity of the New Year to achieve what you really want (44:45)
- Acknowledging universal obstacles to change (48:50)
- Suggested experiments for the week (55:25)
Look at the changes you want to make for the new year, and articulate the motivation behind them.
- Ask yourself: Am I doing this out of fear or out of love?
- Replace a behavior that has typically been fear-based with one done out of love. It doesn’t have to be a different behavior; it may be the same action, but with a different motivation in play.
1) Make an Immunity Map following the steps in the Experience Life article, “How to Overcome Immunity to Change”.
2) Create a Goal Flower using the “Cultivate Your Goals” section of Pilar’s “Refine Your Life” workbook.
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- Pilar’s “Your Ideal Day” guided meditation and visualization
- Carl Richard’s book, The Behavior Gap, which defines the distance between what we should do with our money and what we actually do — and how to bridge the gap.
- The Goal Flower exercise from Pilar’s “Refine Your Life” workbook – a visual method for defining your value-based goals and action plans, and the benefits that follow.
- The Whole30 program, a step-by-step plan to break unhealthy eating habits, reduce cravings, improve digestion, and strengthen your immune system.
- The Transtheoretical Model of change by Dr. James Prochaska et al.
- Dr. BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits – small steps to big changes.
- Immunity to Change – the book by Dr. Robert Kegan and Dr. Lisa Laskow Lahey, and the Experience Life article, “How to Overcome Immunity to Change”.
- “The Power of Language”, an article on using conscious language as a catalyst for change from Experience Life.
- Simon Sinek’s concept of the power of Why, a tool for finding your inspiration and inspiring others.
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