This week we’re talking about the concept of the New Year — from meaningless consumer hype to contemplative pursuits that really can make a difference.
We explore the potential pros and cons of leveraging the New Year as an opportunity for self-improvement, and we share the approaches we like best for pursuing change in our own lives.
From expert theories of change to the awkward realities of working on a goal that eludes you, we take a thoughtful look at New Year’s conventions, and we offer some experiments to help you establish a better, more self-compassionate plan for your year ahead.
“New Year” Episode Highlights
- The New Year holiday as the caboose on the Thanksgiving-to-Christmas marketing train
- Arguments against January 1 as a hard date for making big changes
- Pilar’s Goal Flower model for setting and achieving goals
- Accomplishing less instead of more
- Why uncovering the belief systems that are holding you back may be more effective than simply addressing surface problems like excess weight, disorganization, and debt
- Dallas’s approach to goal setting (and the holidays)
- Making resolutions when you’re ready and in your own way, instead of when and how the calendar or culture says you should
- The shared energy of forming new habits with everyone else in January (or any other time), and the value of using camaraderie to launch into autonomy
- Creating sustainable change and escaping commercially-driven cycles
- The Prochaska Transtheoretical Model of change
- Dallas’s insights on self-sabotage, and Pilar’s thoughts on our inherent “immunity to change”
- Making small transformations on the road to accomplishing larger goals and avoiding self-sabotage
- The difference between building sustainable change and making cyclical changes to break up an unsustainable lifestyle
- The right and wrong motivations for modifying behaviors – love vs. fear
- The power of conscious language
- How to embrace the opportunity of the New Year to achieve what you really want
- Acknowledging universal obstacles to change
Look at the changes you want to make for the new year, and articulate the motivation behind them.
- Ask yourself: Am I doing this out of fear or out of love?
- Replace a behavior that has typically been fear-based with one done out of love. It doesn’t have to be a different behavior; it may be the same action, but with a different motivation in play.
1) Make an Immunity Map following the steps in the Experience Life article, “How to Overcome Immunity to Change”.
2) Create a Goal Flower using the “Cultivate Your Goals” section of Pilar’s “Refine Your Life” workbook. (The Goal Flower is no longer available for free download. Instead, purchase the workbook or sign up for Pilar’s Refine Your Life course!)
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- Pilar’s “Your Ideal Day” guided meditation and visualization
- Carl Richard’s book, The Behavior Gap, which defines the distance between what we should do with our money and what we actually do — and how to bridge the gap.
- Pilar’s Refine Your Life course and workbook, which includes the Goal Flower — a visual method for defining your value-based goals and action plans, and the benefits that follow.
- The Whole30 program, a step-by-step plan to break unhealthy eating habits, reduce cravings, improve digestion, and strengthen your immune system.
- The Transtheoretical Model of change by Dr. James Prochaska et al.
- Dr. BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits – small steps to big changes.
- Immunity to Change – the book by Dr. Robert Kegan and Dr. Lisa Laskow Lahey, and the Experience Life article, “How to Overcome Immunity to Change”.
- “The Power of Language”, an article on using conscious language as a catalyst for change from Experience Life.
- Simon Sinek’s concept of the power of Why, a tool for finding your inspiration and inspiring others.
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